Why won't HE stop writing

Sweat drips down my sculpted, lean, body in my MMA gym. I'm 34 years old. I'm in the prime of my life. I feel like I can go through a wall if needed. I'm getting ready for my fourth MMA fight. Nothing is going to stop me from victory, nothing. I call out the radio guy on youtube.com that made fun of me, the Naked Author, and my books. I am ready to fight anyone. I have no fear, I have no hesitation, I have nothing holding me back. I have trained so hard to be in the best shape and have the sharpest skills in MMA fighting. I cannot wait for my MMA fight. I will win. I will not go down in history as a loser. I will win my first MMA fight. I will land a book deal and become the greatest author of my generation. I will make my son Donovan Jason Mitchiner so proud of his father. All of my dreams I have ever wanted are all going to come true because I have willed it to do so. Then while training for my MMA fight, someone in my gym notices a small dark spot on my back and tells me I should get it checked out. I finally land a job with health benefits after losing everything during the Great Recession. I go to the doctor to have this little insignificant tiny spot looked at. I think at the very most they might just have to remove it, nothing more. I need to stay focused on training. I must win my next MMA fight. My black spot is removed and just like that I am in a far greater fight then winning any MMA fight. I am in the greatest fight for my life. Is the devil claiming my life in exchange for becoming the greatest author of my generation? What is the point if the world reads my books and I am dead? If I die I will never win my next MMA fight. I will go down as a loser. If I die I will never get my book deal. I will go down as a loser. Will I live or die? Will I go down without a book deal as a loser? We are going to find out...