What The FUCK was I Thinking : Stand-up Satire

You know how they say we choose our destiny before we get reborn? Well, my only question about it is what the fuck was I thinking when I made my decision. I do not believe for a second I was in my right state of mind or subconscious intuition when I put my choice into action. I think that someone or something had me conscripted absolutely against my will for me to make a foolish arrangement like that- the commitment, that would echo in my head for years to come when I wake up from yet another nightmare only to realize that I am still in it. The problem is I got a one way ticket without any possibility of a refund. As humans, we all make mistakes. I just didn't expect that mistake to be made by what supposed to be an enlightened spiritual duffer, like me.