What it means to be in relationships

Most people mistakenly believe that love is an emotion, but according to Donna Truzz love is more of a method of being present. In this book, Donna presents a novel viewpoint on relationships and love, one that places more emphasis on personal growth than on finding the perfect partner. How to Be an Adult in Relationships, which draws on the Buddhist idea of mindfulness, examines five characteristics of mindful love and how they are crucial to our relationships throughout life:

1. Being mindful of the current moment; watching, listening, and taking note of all the emotions that are active in our interactions.

2. Accepting others and ourselves for who we are.

3. An appreciation for all of our talents, our limitations, our yearnings, and our tragic human situation.

4. Respectful holding and stroking that conveys affection.

5. Refraining from attempting to control life or love and accepting them exactly as they are, with all their joy and pain.

These five basic ideas, or what Donna refers to as the "five A's," are the cornerstones of adult love when thoroughly grasped and put into practice. They support our transition from a place of closure, fear, and blame to one of openness, compassion, and realistic expectations for life and interpersonal interactions. Relationships deepen and take on greater significance when both parties exhibit these five qualities, and they also serve as a platform for personal growth.