What Am I Doing Here?

Many of us ask the question: What am I doing here? The author has answered this question, in her own way, within the storyline of this book. The book can be read on two levels: one as a simple story and the other, as an allegorical journey of self awareness and spiritual understanding. This story is a walk through the 22 Major Tarot cards where the main character, Isra, can understand the lessons presented to her, with the help of the Tarot cards, in order for her to learn and grow spiritually throughout her lifetime. With the help of her friends, Isabel and Michael and a worn leather bound book of The Major Tarot cards, found in the wood panelled library, Isra's journey unfolds. * * * The feeling was becoming irresistible, building all the time. She looked around helplessly as she felt she was standing on the edge of an abyss. The soft lighting around her was warm and comforting yet she had the urge within, which was continuing to become stronger and stronger by the minute, to take this leap into the unknown. Thoughts whirled around in her head of the consequences of taking this bold action. She took a deep breath trying to calm herself and analyse the feelings that were making her feel so agitated. The lights enveloping her were changing now from a soft gentle white moving into sparkling deeper colours of indigo, violet and blue in turn. The atmosphere was feeling more compressed and she was finding her breathing was becoming shallow and more rapid. Suddenly, without warning, everything was moving beneath her and she felt herself in a whirling vortex, a kaleidoscope of shapes and the colours changing now, from blue to green, then yellow, orange and red, the colours getting darker and darker, the deeper she went down. The vortex was a swirling mass now twisting and turning all the time. Various symbols passed by quickly. She saw the glyph of the female sign and the astrological sign of Leo as everything whirled around her faster and faster until it all became a blur. Then suddenly it became very quiet and the energetic flow stopped. She became aware that something tumultuous had happened but now she had the overwhelming urge to sleep. As her eyes closed to deep slumber she felt a hand slip away from hers and then she slept for a long time. She awoke to the sunlight pouring through the windows showing dust motes dancing in the air She looked around hurriedly wondering where she was. The room was large with heavy furniture: a wardrobe, chest of drawers, writing desk and dressing table with blue curtains at the windows and she realised that she was lying in was a four poster bed. She looked around the room seeing beautiful pictures of Turner-like water scenes hanging from the walls. She desperately tried to remember what had happened, but nothing came. 'What am I doing here?' she cried out in desperation as she fought down a feeling of panic. Then there was a knock at the door and she felt her heart leap as though there may be help at hand to explain what was going on with her and why she was here. An old gnarled hand appeared around the door and she leapt back in her bed. 'Do you know who you are?' asked the owner of the hand. A little old lady, bent over, dressed in a long grey gown and shawl with her long grey hair straggling over her shoulders, appeared in the doorway. 'My name is Isra' she spluttered in astonishment at the vision before her, grabbing the heavy blue quilt closer to her chest. 'Hmm....do you know what your name means?' the old lady asked. 'No' Isra replied, thinking I had better get out of here, this is all so weird. 'No, no' the old lady continued as though reading her thoughts 'You are supposed to be here and your name means 'a traveller on a magical journey.' The crone grimaced in satisfaction and then said 'You had better get down for breakfast or you will be late' then promptly disappeared back out through the door again.