The Traveler's Daughter

I am a princess - yet I am not allowed to use that word. I have a father - yet I am not allowed to speak of him. I have a friend - yet I am not allowed to love him. Fist, not face. That's what my mother says. I need to be strong, tough, cold. Untouchable. Only then will I be fit to rule after her. But what if that's not what I want for myself? I am outwardly a difficult and rebellious daughter who deserves her punishments. Inwardly I only long for her love. Anyone's love. I want someone to see my face and think I am worth more than the strength of my fist. And I am afraid. I am terrified that I will never be able to be like her. Or worse. That I will be.