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Sometimes we use the metaphor of color when some things are not as clear as others - Thus we say our perceptions are not black or white but gray. So it is with psychological abuse. Physical and sexual abuse we say are black or white. But other forms of psychological abuse like verbal, mental, emotional abuse are not as easy to see (By the perpetrator or the victim) for the damage they have done - Hence they fall into the gray area. Equally hard to see is the part we play when our perception is in the gray. Are we the abusee, the abuser or both? I address this when I give insights regarding how we can tell. And then once we know where we come down - I can help us change - i.e. If we really want to change.