The Gospel of John

We cloned Jesus. It seemed like a good idea at the time. The fundamentalists were taking over, you know, the United Church of America? The leader of those psychos got himself elected President. Then the shit hit the fan, just like he predicted: floods, famine, plagues. They declared him a God damned prophet. When HIV went airborne, when he said it was terrorists? That was the excuse he needed to throw everyone into the ghettos. Gays, Muslims, Hispanics, Blacks. Once he declared the UCA the national religion, he managed to throw the Jews in there as well. So the Pope dug a piece of wood out of a vault and said it was from the cross of Jesus. Enough blood on it to make a clone. With all the religion going around, if the Catholics had Jesus himself to spout their party line? They'd win back all those souls who'd converted to the UCA... and their money, too. It was all about money and power. Wasn't it always? But they messed up. They had no clue what they'd done. Hadn't they read the Bible? Didn't they have any idea what Jesus would really do? Hadn't they heard of the fucking Apocalypse? Third Testament tells the story of a twenty-first century Messiah: his birth, his life and his mission, none of which are what the Church who created him expected. Forget Dystopia. This is the Apocalypse.