The Glass Lady

Rapid Response Team MemorandumTop Secret/Do Not PhotocopyTo: Strategic Defense Initiative Organization (SDIO)From: U.S. Space Defense Operations Center, ColoradoSituation Report: Unmanned Soviet Kvant-3 space laboratory destroyed by defective U.S. Orbital Weapons Platform. Communications inoperative. Soviet retaliation imminent unless immediate action taken.Target: U.S. Low-power Atmospheric Compensation Experiment (LACE)-the most powerful weapon in orbit. Equipped with SECRET hydrogen-fluoride, five megawatt chemical laser, LODE 4-meter firing mirror, and Teal Ruby AFP-888 aiming mechanism.Current Status: 38 degree circular orbit at 130 nautical miles FULLY ARMED AND OUT OF CONTROL.Operation: U.S. astronauts Colonel William Parker and Lt. Commander Jacob Enright to fly Space Shuttle Endeavor in mission to deactivate LACE.Risk Factor: HIGHSpecial Orders: In event of mission failure, U.S. shuttle crew to be terminated with EXTREME PREJUDICE.Brief: Presidential briefing NOT RECOMMENDED.