The Arrow & The Cross

We expats all like to swap stories of how we came to be in Antigua, Guatemala, the same way born-again Christians love to tell how they came to know Jesus. How we found our way here. This is probably true of expats in every country, but I can only speak for us. Oftentimes, the stories are hilarious, and I make vague plans to compile a book of them.For example, one friend was a drug dealer with a hot crazy girlfriend. She asked him to loan her $1,000 for an investment, and he readily paid it. He left to go check his production line, and when he came home there were 1,000 scratch-off lottery tickets scattered on the floor. Big fight, lotta screaming, break-up, slamming door. Popped a beer and sat down, deep sigh.Picked up a ticket and absently scratched it off. Boom One free trip to Antigua, Guatemala. He came so he could distract himself from his broken heart, and while he was here, his little operation got raided and everyone but him went to jail.Stories like that. Well, this is mine.How, before I became the Renaissance Man―owner-chef of a very popular restaurant, author of twenty-three books, and successful Baroque artist―I was just a hard-drinking. bar-fighting, heart-breaking prick.