Stress Boys

Stress Boys---It was Stephan's turn first. He thought he was ready but maybe he wasn't. He had no choice. Neither would the others. It was inevitable. There were five: Jerry, Peter, Stephan, Dennis, and Caulden. They went out and celebrated in the proper way, Chicago-style, one night downtown in the summer of 1988. It was Stephan's 30th birthday on July 14th and he was the first, the oldest, the guinea pig or lab rat; however he handled the excursion and to whatever capacity he enjoyed, the others would deal with the landmark birthday in their respective way over the next seven years and get their chance to be psychologically prodded and poked. Physically, each already knew how to feel like crap at some point each and every day. Jerry, Dennis, Caulden, and Peter had discussed the options with the birthday boy on the best way to celebrate growing old, going "over the hill," and with Stephan the "lab results" of his special birthday would establish a precedent, a how-to, provide a validation, an alibi, consistency, a formula, a bridge into old age for all of them to cross and follow; finalized and approved Chicago-style. It might go like this: Get dressed up and wear a tie, start drinking and after a few take a taxi downtown (uptown, rather, you'll see), drink at the restaurant's bar, have a fine meal while drinking some more, meet some ladies and leave them behind (too early), take a long walk and then an elevator way up there to a really expensive bar and each have a beer that costs too much, meet more women, leave them behind and come back down and walk (more) seedy side-streets and dingy alleyways (short cuts---hey, nobody's messing with five guys), then another bar because they're thirsty again, drink some more, flirt some more, see some of the same women from earlier (Chicago: largest small town in America); go to the bathroom and not for the first time and in there discuss the "same old same old" (and that gets really old), come out and one angry handsome guy bumps into a beautiful and sexy angry gal or she bumps into him and he may already have a crush on her or she has one on him, or both. ... ... Don't follow her out of the club. (He does.) She doesn't like that. There are police out there with Billy clubs. Clubs: those you dance in and those that might whack you over the head. Now: He's walking with her. Now: She kisses him. Neither will remember a damn thing; it's 1980s Chicago, work hard play hard, the land of don't-wear-your-wedding-ring---and drink, don't forget to drink. Now: Let's go back and swim in the pool. The sun has risen. He dreams with the aid of a white-noise and cooling air-conditioner. His nose and lip are still sore from the punch, his head from the confrontation with the police. She calls. This is Stress Boys. Get in the cab. ...