Sticks and Stones Jones

George Conoley. Raised on the school of hard knocks principle, with a dose of Catholic zealotry thrown in for good measure. We meet him first as a middle-aged, lonely, unlovely, and unloved human being. Twice married and twice divorced, and soon to be jobless, things are not looking too good for the lad off the Langford Estate. When the story begins, George is travelling from his home-town in Eastbourne to the North of England. He never wanted to do the damn trip anyway, but with redundancy staring him in the face - what choice did he have? Chavsville is best driven through with the windows up, the doors locked tight, and no valuables on display. Everything not boarded-up appears to be heading that way. Closing-Down - and Discount signs are everywhere. A pervading depressing and despairing sense of impending doom. A hard, miserable place, overpopulated with tattooed Toughs and barely-legal females. Both sexes ready to fight to the death should mating be off the menu. Then there is Stan Mellie, or Smelly, thanks to that coupling of S with Mellie. Mostly ignored and ridiculed in Chavsville. He is divorced and has been without a job for the past three years. Like George, things are not going well for him. The two meet in The Yelping Whelp public house on the eve of Stan's 40th birthday. During this drink-sozzled session, some common ground is discovered. At first based on nothing more substantial than both being near-hopeless drunks, a friendship looks set to blossom. But when George's hoped-for lifeline falls flat, the friendship ends before it's begun and George heads back south. The embryonic friendship quickly forgotten, and life for George Conoley goes on. For Smelly, a badly bungled attempt at suicide, and a NDE followed by almost the real thing, bring about remarkable changes. Stan, the recipient of the ultimate makeover, arises from the ashes a new man - And begins to realise this little piece of Yorkshire is not for him. Fast forward eight years. For one, everything different; for the other, nothing different. Stan is a changed man. His clothes, his mannerisms, his view on life. Everything about him-changed. George, on the other hand, hasn't changed one iota. Consequently, there's no reason to change his jaundiced opinion on life. Was it coincidence their paths crossed again? Beneath the surface there's a ripple of something afoot, could serendipity be a better explanation? That sounds like it could be closer to the truth "A fortunate stroke of serendipity." Even the likes of George and Stan are entitled to a "Well, I'll be damned " moment occasionally. Seems all you need do is take the foot off the gas, look around, and there you go. Then we have Geoffrey Carter. Geoffrey, with a wild child tag long before the term became popular. Born into privileged surroundings at a time when privilege meant: 1, having several generations worth of money under your belt, surrounded by a substantial pile of bricks and a minimum of a hundred fenced in acres: 2, having total disregard to the plight of the hoi polloi: And 3, being given every chance to be "something of worth in life" and ensuring that the family will never have the misfortune to lose 1 or endure the plight of 2. Geoffrey then was a let-down. All the public-schooling and hobnobbing was never going to work. Rustication and disownment saw him sailing into the sunset in the '50s, to reappear in later life to set two unlikely lads on the right path. Our George and Stan. Eventually, there begins another journey to something offering a better way out. Perhaps for some - Too way-out. Gently irreverent, with more than a few nudges on what is happening in most of our lives today. A book about self-awareness, new beginnings, and a blueprint for seeing how life can be lived without the "neediness" of constant approval - And the awareness that it's not 'you' in charge of the show, it's 'You.'