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All I'd wanted for as long as I could remember was a woman to love, a soulmate to live with in contentment for the rest of my days: friend, lover, companion, mother to our children.
Time was running out: I was getting old. Next year I would be eighteen.
Barry Goldman is a sensitive boy. He's being primed to run the family business but has discovered a talent for making audiences laugh at his silly poems.
At last, he has found something that might make him attractive to girls - in particular, Harriet Fink - but there's not much call for delicate, earnest poets in the 1970s comedy world of hot-panted dolly birds and battle-axe mothers-in-law.
Then one night he sees Kris Dean on a stage in Edinburgh and understands that the world of comedy is about to change forever.
Stand Up, Barry Goldman - like Elena Ferrante, but with jokes - is the debut novel of David J. Cohen, stand-up comedian and writer best known as the creator of dozens of songs for multi-BAFTA winning hit TV show Horrible Histories, and less well known as lead singer in the world's first Jewish heavy metal band, Guns'n'Moses.
"Funny and fascinating, a lovely tale" Jo Brand
"Powerfully funny, often moving... Dave has created the Jewish Adrian Mole of alternative comedy." David Quantick
"In the last anxiety-making days of lockdown Dave made me laugh out loud from the first few pages. This novel about the world of stand-up comedy is funnier than the real thing." Linda Grant
"Evokes all the tension of doing your first Edinburgh Fringe but without incurring the life-changing overdraft" Jack Dee