Stan, Stan, the Bacteria Man

¿ Stan the bacteria man appeared in the Oval Office on a gloomy Tuesday morning in late August.



¿ A wildly weird journey into the indeterminate future of this Great Nation full of 0.50-inch service weapon rounds.



¿He only wants to talk. The heavily armed humans only want to shoot.



Tale as old as time.



On the surface, gray goo gradually becomes warm skin. But underneath beats a heart of gold (or peanut butter, or ball bearings, or meat-as suits the occasion).



While confrontations with national leaders, local liaisons, and homicidal political donors escalate into hilarious farce, Stan the bacteria man asks a very human question:



Why am I the security threat around here?