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They called him a “good for nothing loser” and said he’d never amount to much …
They said he couldn’t get a date to save the planet, and he’d never have real friends …
They said his study of Piffchi, ancient Blobolian martial art, was a waste of time …
They said his favorite arcade game “Guardian Space Ranger” and its tie-in novels were lame …
One day Rupert P. Glart stopped listening to them,
and discovered that they were wrong …
Very wrong …