Silent Abuse

The year 2014 was the year I had to pay my karma. You don't go through the darkness unscathed. I was a Christian woman: i.e. church-going, devoted wife and mother. When so much is put on your plate at one time and you're plunged into this oblivion of confusion, you tend to just do what it takes to survive. You are going to make mistakes. You will not be yourself...not at all. As in all things, you must pay for those mistakes, and realizing the mistakes, realizing the reality of it all in general sends you into a twisting mix of emotions that just doesn't seem to want to let up. Although my Depression stage in the five stages of loss and grief shows its ugly face way before 2014, this year was the most difficult because, through counseling, I was forced to face that reality head-on. Depression is the hardest stage to overcome. I was lucky I guess, in a sense, because God was always there for me. Along with depression, the anger and bargaining stages are still in the mix, but this year...2014...was my slow, guided walk to the light.