SHOULD WE MARRY OR NOT?: Taking the Right Steps in the Right Directions Before you Get Married

Investing in your relationship before you are married will reap rewards for many years to come. Getting ready for marriage means being prepared for it in a myriad number of ways. Happily married couples are the ones who have worked hard on how to resolve their conflicts through communication, compromise, and sacrifice. So, if you proactively discuss your expectations ahead of time, your chances of leading a happy life together increase considerably. Preparing for marriage is the key to a forthcoming blissful married life.

Marriage essentially involves a surrender of personal rights for the benefit of each other. Neither the husband nor the wife has the right to make major purchases without the full agreement of the other partner. Your money is our money (even if you feel like you earned it). You can no longer spend it however you please. Make a commitment to postpone spending until you both feel comfortable with the decision.

When two people come together to start a family, both individuals probably have different backgrounds and upbringings. This can influence the way both of you approach parenting. A result of opposing parenting styles? Arguing about whether your kids should have ice cream before dinner or how to discipline them, if at all.

Knowing and understanding the premarital factors discussed above is the first step. The second step is assessing these factors in yourself and your relationship. This can be accomplished most effectively and easily by completing a comprehensive premarital assessment questionnaire (PAQ) and interpreting the results with your partner. Three high-quality PAQs that provide couples with useful feedback on their strengths and weaknesses in each of the areas above include:

1. Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study (FOCCUS)

2. Relationship Evaluation (RELATE)

3. Premarital Preparation and Relationship Enhancement (PREPARE)

There will be times when a husband and wife will have opposing viewpoints about important decisions or situations. These are times to earnestly seek the will of the Lord through a study of His word and times of prayer and fasting. If there is still disagreement, a wise and respected person of authority should be available for counsel. Normally, this could be the parents, the Elder or some other wise brethren or counselor. Discussing this marriage compatibility question and coming to an agreement on who to talk to, will make the hopelessness that conflict can sometimes bring much more bearable solution.

IT IS GOOD YOU GET A COPY OF THIS BOOK FOR YOUR MARRIAGE PREPARATION.