Scarred

Abuse in all its form is unique to no particular race, color, class or creed. People at different ages and stages have been victims of abuse. One might wonder who gave birth to this monster. In our society we see men, women and children suffering perpetually. Many of us who assess these situations from the outside, question why would someone endure abuse for so long? But it goes far beyond our questions, speculations and conclusions. It's deeply woven into the victim's mental capacity, and no one but them can conquer this destructive nature. I call it a deadly scar, of all the types of abuse we heard about or experienced. I want to turn the spot light on one in particular. In the end you will realize how it loops in every other form of abuse. It starts at the very core of our earliest stage of human development. This monster is, ''parental verbal abuse''. Kudos for all those who got the opportunity to be showered with love from inception onward. I guess this is for those of us who have been smitten by the tongue of our parents. It's one thing to be put down by a stranger to say the least: it's easier to shrug them off. But to have the very person(s) who brought you into this world treating you like an animal is like breaking several bones at once. That's the severity of a parental verbal attack. Not all of us are able to surmount these venomous attacks. They flow throughout every aspect of our lives. From childhood, adolescence to adulthood. We see children fighting all the time at school, we see teenagers engaging in dangerous habits. Drinking, partying, smoking, premarital sex, etc. We see men and women remaining in physically abusive relationships: even to the point of death. You might ask yourself, how is this related to parental verbal abuse? The bible clearly says, life and death is in the power of the tongue. Also, anything that is repeated to us continuously, we will accept it, practice it, and believe it. I will highlight just some things, I have heard parents say, and how they burrow themselves in the lives of their children.You're just like your worthless father or mother.You will never come out to anything good, no one will want you.I am sorry the day you came into my life.You were a mistake the worst thing that happened to me.I am not going to waste my money on you.You don't have anything good about you.Get out of my sight You little bastard You are so disgusting The list goes way beyond that, but some words are not fit for use here. We know about the expletives that come with these words and the facial expressions that clearly states the point. These words are detrimental to a child's emotional well-being. It can make them feel withdrawn, unloved, unappreciated, devalued, callous, angry, depressed, suicidal, etc. So many have fought hard just to make their parents proud, but there are others who became exactly what their parents said they would become. Truth is that many of the things our parents say to us are done out of frustration. It could be the fact that their life is not the way they expected it to be, or they plainly weren't ready for this type of responsibility, but that's no justification for treating their children in such harsh tones. The parent(s) might say that they want the best for their children, but they need to understand that their words form root within the minds of their children, and it can follow them to their graves. The hardest part about parental verbal abuse is that it didn't start with our parents or their parents or their parents' parents. This is something that has been passing from generation to generation. The harsh treatment has been extended to us because that's exactly how some of our parents were treated. Many of them are still bitter at their parents and grandparents, and this overdose of bitterness is eventually spilled over on us- if we are not careful we will pass it on to our children.