Rock of Recovery Relationship Addiction: Christian Enabler/Addiction Recovery

Four relationship addiction levels: codependency, relational dependency, trauma bonding and relationship bondage. The relationship bondage helps us to understand why those caught in domestic violence have no power to leave. Codependency is the inability to be happy if your partner isn't happy and reliant upon their contentment with you. Relational dependency is deeper. It is an inability to feel whole without the closeness and attention of your partner. There is an anxiety if you feel the partner is emotionally unavailable or incapable of bonding.

The third level is trauma bonding. Trauma bonding is a person with a lack of identity. Childhood mirroring and nurturing were absent so you find a person with the same type of trauma wounds from their past and bond too quickly. The relationship feels magnetic and magical and is characterized by love bombing until you are locked in. Once you are locked in the cycle of devouring starts where there is emotional roller coaster phase and then a trauma/drama phase with mood swings. Next, you will be chewed up and spit out as they securely base the relationship troubles on you and play the victim to find their next prey. This is a relationship addiction cycle. You may be magnetically, magically be drawn back to this person to play out the love phase again but without any sustainability. It is just an addiction cycle, not true love.

This is relationship bondage. The other person becomes your source and they will start with the intense love-bombing phase and then will become ungrateful, discontent, entitled, and manipulative with intense domination and control. They will completely strip you of your identity and rebuild you a new one. You will be the crazy one and keep trying to rationalize with an irrational person. This creates great confusion and an inability to escape. You have lost your identity and are responsible for this person's emotional stability. Therefore, you have no power over you own self and no confidence to make decisions.

Other chapters include recognizing a player, a groomer, lust patterns, trust bonds, fear bonds, the chase of the fantasy, sexual obsessing, toxic shame, the love addicted brain, identity, infidelity and repair, complex PTSD, Whether to stay/go, and a development of a sexual sobriety plan and finding healing, and forgiveness for yourself and others through relationship recovery plan.