Relax as HSP with dissociation

I have built up many tensions from an early age. As HSP, I quickly notice tensions with my more sensitive nervous system. Due to the high demands and high expectations of my parents, I have developed my mind well. You are supposed to work and earn money. In my childhood, I constantly suppressed my feelings and emotions, which now become even more noticeable while relaxing. While recovering from my burnout, I realize that I have never learned to relax. I only learned to make an effort. People can quickly think that you are lazy when you relax. I have learned to be active with my mind. I didn't learn how to relax. I am doing that now. It seems easy. There is a difference between distractions in daily life and truly relaxing. Through my therapy I learn to relax in a good way. I learn to relax in a healthy way. And I learn to relax in a conscious way. As HSS, I try to experience what it is like to really relax. Because I have only learned to build up tensions, I do not yet have a balance between effort and relaxation. My suppressed feelings and emotions are suppressed tensions, which are released during therapy. For the moment, I am busy with that. I am seriously engaged in relaxing in a good, healthy and conscious way. With a balance between effort and relaxation, I will be more balanced in life.