PEACE BEYOND TEARS

Several years ago my world turned upside down with the new knowledge of my husbands sexual sin. All I wanted was for someone to come beside me and tell me it was going to be alright, someone to tell me what came next and that I was not alone. I needed a friend who would not judge, give me unsolicited advice, or condemn my husband. I desperately needed someone to tell me what life could look like on the other side, and that there was, in fact, an other side. But I could find no one. I was alone and scared, afraid of my own feelings and afraid of what lay ahead. Now that my journey has moved to a place of peace beyond the tears, I have set out to be that friend to as many people as possible. I am telling my story in an effort to be authentic, to let you know there is hope, and there is an other side. You are NOT alone and your feelings are valid. Most of all, I hope to show you that our awesome God is right beside you, even if you dont feel His presence right now. Next fall I am planning to hike twenty-three miles in thirteen hours from one rim of the Grand Canyon to the other. This is one of the many endeavors that God has put in front of me these past few years- adventures I never would have attempted before I knew of Tims addiction. Because of the new relationship that I have with God and because of the trust I have in Him, I know that I can accomplish anything with God on my side. Years ago if you had asked me about myself, I probably would have said something about being a wife, a mother, and a Sunday School teacher. But now when I picture my life, I see open spaces and no walls. If I were to draw you a visual of my life now, I would draw myself on the other side of the Grand Canyon with my arms up to the sky, tears of joy streaming down my face as I praise the God who sees me and loves me unconditionally! I can only imagine what it is going to feel like to hike from one side of the Grand Canyon to the other, to look around at how far I have come and the deep chasm that now separates me from my past. I imagine I will be apprehensive as we hike down, not knowing what to expect; then I think I might be a bit overwhelmed as we start to climb back up, wondering if I will be able to make it all the way up. As we get closer to the top, I will start to feel the excitement when at last the rim is visible and we see people cheering us on to completion. I pray, no matter where you are on your journey back to the top, that you have people around you, cheering you on. I pray that you know God is right beside you, walking each and every step with you, that you know you are not alone on this journey, and that many people you have never met are praying for you. And I pray that you, too, will be able to make it to the other side, praising God and knowing how much He loves you. You are in my heart and prayers, dear friend. May God bless you on your journey! See you at the top!