Pastoring a Narcissist: Book One - The Dark Triad

You've heard it: Pastoring would be wonderful, if it were not for the people.Narcissistic people drive a leader crazy. Psychology Today called such people Crazy Makers.

They are one of three groups in the Dark Triad. And you pastor narcissistic people, manipulative people and yes, at least one or two sociopaths/psychopaths.

Narcissists hurt people.Narcissists turn God's work into a competition.Narcissists are about one thing - and it is not Jesus, His church or helping you. They live to win, even if they must cheat to win.This book addresses dealing with narcissists from a pastoral perspective. It identifies some of the more common traits of narcissists and looks at some Biblical characters through the lens of narcissism.

Lucifer, leading a revolt against the Creator of the Universe. Why? Narcissism. Lucifer lost heaven because of his narcissism. Listen to His words: I will ascend . . . , i will exalt . . . I will be like the most high. In the Lord's way of doing business - the narcissist cannot be allowed to prevail.King Saul became focused on how events impacted him, and him alone. He ignored the needs of those he led. Became so insecure about David that he spent his energy doing little except trying to destroy David. A bit of attention unleashed Saul's narcissistic tendencies.Diotrephes loves to have the preeminence . . ., (3 John 1:9). Was Diotrephes interested in the well-being of others? How could we think he was when he refused to allow them to be influenced by the Apostle John.In each case of narcissism there was also a response taken. In Pastoring Narcissists in the Dark Triad, suggested solutions are provided. They are not quick fixes, nor are they always easy. And there are times when what has worked for me won't work for someone else. But if you deal with people as a pastor, a department head or even a corporate leader this book will help.

More about the Dark Triad

A mentor said, "Every church has grace-builders, as a pastor learn how to deal with them." The people in the Dark Triad are grace-builders on steroids.

The three categories in the Dark Triad are:NarcissistsMachiavellian manipulatorsPsychopathsThese people are a challenge in any body of believers. In Pastoring Narcissists in the Dark Triad you will learn:

1. The most common symptoms of narcissism.

2. People in the Bible who have every indicator of having been narcissistic, Saul comes to mind..

3. How a narcissist injures others, including a pastor. Self-centered people limit the work of God. Their wounds can be quite severe.

4. This is not addressed from a psychological or mental health perspective. The writer is a pastor, who has dealt with narcissistic people, managed to keep them around and keep them from hurting people. The suggestions found here are a place to start.

5. If you are a new pastor, get ahead of the curve. Prepare your mind, spirit and heart to deal with those who are narcissistic.

Psychology Today has used the term Crazy Maker to describe interacting with such people.

This book is about more than information. The objective is to protect ministers, their spouse and family, as well as the people in a local church from narcissistic people. The main objective is protecting the body of Christ.

Ships and planes have disappeared into the Bermuda Triangle. Some ministers work for Christ disappeared into the maw of The Dark Triad. Ministers who deal with such people without awareness and an idea on how to respond are prone to:BurnoutAnxietySleepless nightsDepressionMental exhaustionDespairAngerRetreat from their callingDon't be a statistic. Learn a veteran pastor's approach to dealing with some of the most difficult sorts of people.