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NON-FICTION (28,300 words). Folks in the 21st Century have missed the point in the parable of the Good Samaritan and other ancient teachings. Humorist Howard Denson tackles a serious subject and brings the lessons up to date. He regrets that Jesus did not discuss the problem of dumb asses and fools. Denson's internal time machine enables him to eavesdrop at times when the rabbi from Nazareth may have been exasperated. The parables focus on the plight of twin teachers, rabid zombie bears in education, the chicken-instincts of humans, the use of non-existent "blue-necktie rules," the cows and the bull, the fire-and-brimstone preacher and the old man, the huckster who makes big promises, the proper handling of wealth, the value of individuals' jobs, a possible race between the tortoise and the roadrunner, the values of modern King Midases, the searcher for morals to parables, the comments on a fishmonger's sign, and the problem of mechanicals getting sentience and souls. The collection also includes a section on odd thoughts and epiphanies.