Pan-Pan-Pandemic Or Wasting Time with a Laser Gun

It was a time-pandemic of the kind no one thought possible, where people's lives suddenly felt like they were moving at different speeds and even different directions. It was extremely annoying! But leave it to Earth's buffoon of a president to unwittingly turn an annoying situation into a universal crisis that would put our very existence into jeopardy.

The only possible hope we have rests with a small rogue group: Peterh, a hapless space pilot; Lord Talibajina, a hacker and intergalactic online bully; Nary The Non-existent, the teddy-bear-looking creature that always speaks in strawman arguments; Teddy, a round, green perverted alien; and Lieutenant Scroatmeal - a tiny bounty hunter with a knack for bad puns.

Together they must confront reality itself, face off with Cronus, the god of time and even cross paths with a space truckin' convoy in an effort to restore our lives back to the miserable normalcy we used to complain about.