nah, keep your strength

In this deeply personal and heartbreakingly honest account of life as an unmarried woman taking on the double standards and intrinsic prejudices of African society, Sihle Bolani takes on the outmoded traditions and stereotypical beliefs and proves that by harnessing their quiet power, women can and will thrive.

Rising above the ridiculous expectations that make her feel she will never be good enough, she lives with the shame of violation and the pain of abandonment, and struggles with the destructive power dynamics and harmful behaviour that exist within both families and communities.

As a third-generation single mother, the author battles the complexities of parenting, career challenges, financial woes, and relationship fails with a strength born of necessity and fuelled by a deep abiding love for her daughter.

Her overriding message to other women is that it is necessary, if not essential, to take care of yourself first and accept that by expecting yourself to be the perfect mother, wife, girlfriend, daughter or friend, you not only do yourself a disservice but set future generations of girls up for failure.

By breaking the cycle of abuse, inequality and humiliation, Bolani entreats her readers to stand in their authentic truth and intuitively realize that resilience should not be a characteristic born of fear but an innate response to the right to a beautiful life.