My Journey to find 'God'

I have struggled my entire life, to find happiness, to fit in, to find love. One day in the heat of the summer, I gave up. I screamed 'Fine, I give up! I have tried to be PERFECT! I have tried to be nice to everyone, I have tried to 'mold' into society, for WHAT? Another loveless relationship? A life in the corporate world that is sucking the life out of me? No time to be with my babies? No time just to BE!? This is supposed to be the American Dream?' I wondered. 'This is living hell. There's no such place called 'hell'. Hell is what we have created here on earth. I don't know what to DO this anymore. I just want PEACE!' I screamed as my fist hit the table. Exhausted, I wept tears of frustration, tears of anger, tears of defeat. That day began my journey to find happiness. Today, I find more happy days then sad ones. Tears come from being grateful and humbled to have found an indescribable love, that has permeated every cell in my being. The storm is still raging outside, but I have found ways to steady the blows. These pages contain poems, thoughts, letters that I have written during the second year of my adventure. Like many of you, this journey is an arduous one, but one I believe we should share more of. We are all searching for happiness, and happiness is God, God is Love. God is no a benevolent one. The Supreme Personality of Godhead is one who the powerful have taken advantage of. When I started, I questioned if there was such a thing as a Divine Spirit? Was God male or female? Was Jesus real? Do we have a soul? Existential questions that have echoed through the ages. Those that have been enlightened have been my guides, my gurus, my lighthouses shining their light, showing the way. May your journey be one that takes you to the destination of everlasting Love. Hari AumPeaceAminShalomek omkaar