My Guy Problem

Dear Lydia,

I need help with my neighbor.

She doesn't like me, but I can't stop thinking about having sex with her. Half of me wants to fuck her, and the other half wants to choke her. Or choke her while I fuck her.

How do I put her out of my mind?

Sincerely,

Guy Problems

Who is Lydia? Me, the advice columnist.

Who is Guy Problems? My sexy neighbor (in disguise).

What's the problem? I need his help, even though we don't like each other.

Guy Problems is about to become my guy problem.