Married to the Family Business: A Handbook for Spouses of Family Business Owners

For over a dozen years, I have had the honor of talking with owners and leaders of family businesses. Many times, I have seen decisions get made in the business because the spouse of the owner insisted it happen. Sadly, many of these decisions have been detrimental to the business and, in the end, hurt the family too.

In most cases, these spouses do not realize the exact thing they are fighting for is the reason the business and family are suffering.

These are decisions such as:how much money the next generation should makewho should own the businesswho should run the businesscan family members can get firedwho should work in the business and in which jobOften, the spouse is trying to help. They are fighting (sometimes yelling) for what they believe is the best thing for their family.

This handbook is made for spouses who want a resource that helps them influence the family business in a way that is positive for the family and business.

This is your life

You're married to someone who works in their family business. Do you sometimes feel they are more married to the business or their family than they are to you? If so, that's normal.

Do you sometimes feel you're lucky to be involved in a business that takes great care of its employees and the community? If so, that's normal too.

Do you sometimes have those strong, mixed emotions all in the same day? If so, you guessed it, that is normal.

As the spouse of someone who works in their family's business, you're often aware of challenges the business is having, fights that are happening, who is doing a great job and who is completely failing. You are seen as a leader in the business and often your community, but you rarely have control over decisions. You might also be the parent of future leaders of the business.

All of this is a lot to figure out, and, while it can be fulfilling, it can also be incredibly frustrating.

As the spouse of a person who works in their family's business you can also have a huge influence on the decisions that get made. If you don't understand how a healthy family business works, you might push the business in destructive or unhealthy directions.

If you're motivated to encourage function and discourage dysfunction in the business, this handbook is for you.

If you want to know as much as you can so your involvement is helpful for the business and for you, this handbook is for you.

If you're dedicated to bringing a positive, long-term viewpoint to your own family and your spouse's family and business, this handbook is for you.

If you're looking for someone to tell you that you're right about everything - this handbook is not for you.

This handbook is meant to help you understand your role, how you can influence the family and business to work in healthier ways, and to help guide your own decisions.

This handbook will give you a simple model, short activities, opportunities to write, opportunities to think, and guidance. It won't give you all of the answers but will help you uncover them yourself.

You'll get out of this what you put into it.

Dig in.