Love's Forgiveness

Normally, it was a good day in the Kingdom for Jillie St. Peter. Today though, the rumble of a motorcycle in the church parking lot had her steeling herself against the memories it brought to mind. When she turned to face the rider - their new, young pastor - desire long-tamped down suddenly coursed through her veins like a hot latte loaded with caffeine and plenty of sugar. She couldn't readily explain it in light of what she could never forget or forgive. Nor was she aware that one day they'd be standing on the beach, with him wanting her to know he had not followed her to play in the sand and water. Pastor Zach Sheridan stood in the doorway, Jillie stealing his breath away with her bright red hair, flashing blue eyes, and radiant skin lighting up his heart and the church office like Fourth of July fireworks. Suddenly and unequivocally certain she was the main reason the Lord had placed him in this new assignment, he was surprised she was the person who served as office help, youth leader, prayer warrior, basketball coach, and small group teacher. 'In my experience, church secretaries with your credentials are usually older congregants.''In my experience, pastors have never arrived at church on a motorcycle.' Jillie felt the peace his presence brought, and noted his brown eyes were kind as he breached her defenses and drew her to him. But with her guard on high alert, she felt anything but peaceful. She could fight other people's spiritual battles, but she had secrets she had long battled alone. Her story left her feeling unworthy in many ways. As she got to know Zach and found him to be the man of her dreams, she knew she didn't deserve him. She knew she would need to confess her secrets in all fairness if they ever became more than coworkers. Zach could tell she had issues; and, like the good shepherd he was, wanted to see her set free for more reasons than one. Doing so, however, was a calculated risk. He might lose her altogether. 'As perfect as you think I am for you, I'm not. That's a fact. And, although I'd like to, I can't change it.' 'I need to decide that for myself,' he countered. Why he would want to carry that burden any more than she did, Jillie didn't know. 'Why do you think I'm not pastor or man enough to handle what you have to say?''It isn't about the pastor or man you aren't, but rather the woman I'm not.' In the telling, she was sure her world would fall apart again.