Letters of Not

A collection of remarkable and completely made-up correspondence from the great and the good across history.

Many books have collated the exceptional letters and personal writing of the famous, offering a fascinating insight into well-known figures’ personal lives and hidden desires. But what of the undistinguished epistles of the renowned? Can their less auspicious musings divulge clues to their hopes and ambitions? Probably not. But they can be quite funny.

‘Letters of Not’ assembles the fictional jotted dross that was never before considered worthy of collection. The Post-it notes, the shopping lists, the failed limericks and the birthday card sentiments of history’s most celebrated sons and daughters.

Inside you will find:

Werner Herzog’s impassioned note to his cleaning lady

Patti Smith’s gym application

Captain Scott’s other last letter to his wife

Salvador Dali’s to do list

Mark E. Smith’s audio tour of Ripon Cathedral

Harold Pinter greetings cards

Pope Benedict’s handover notes

James Joyce’s out of office

Dr Heimlich’s other manoeuvre

A letter from the table next to the Algonquin Round Table

Tweets from the 1966 Newport Folk Festival

Instructions on what to do when you meet Van Morrison

And many more, beautifully rendered in their original, blatantly falsified glory and hilariously transcribed for your pleasure.