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My gran chose to compare life to a roller coaster, and I could see the wisdom in that. So I went along with it, even though I really didn't understand the full meaning when I was younger.Gran told me about the amusement park attraction when I was a little girl, but being content to live in rural South Dakota, I haven't had the opportunity to ride the real thing. I thought the dips and loops my life had taken were exciting enough without it, and by thinking that way, I completely missed the point Gran was trying to make. I always reacted to the events in my life instead of creating them, which proved to be a problem when I found myself with an empty nest, divorce papers, and no life goals the year I turned forty.I drifted for a while, but with the nudge of a younger man who turned out to be another wonderful accident that I embraced, I found the strength to start over in a different direction and, for the first time, on my terms. I realized that forty isn't the end of the ride and that from now on I want to be the one who determines my own fate. I just needed the courage to grab the controls and to make up my mind to begin learning to enjoy the roller coaster.