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'Killing You Would've Been Awesome,' were the words whispered in my ear on May 5, 2014, when an undercover lawman beat me, tased me, threw me to the ground, and drove his knee into my neck after placing my hands behind my back and securing them in place with his silver shackles. 'I Can't Brea-the.' Still waking up in cold sweats, I can't seem to shake his confidence and the fear I felt from the lawman's voice that day. A never ending dream reality. My mind, body, spirit and emotions are scarred with terror. 'I Still Can't Breathe.''You Are Lucky To Be Alive Because I Should Have Killed You' were the final words that left his mouth that nearly killed me; I was terrified, I felt worthless and grateful all at the same time. Although I still find it difficult to breathe, I found my airway to fight and pray for change so that people of color including myself don't have to spend the rest of our lives worrying about dying at the hands of a lawman for something as simple as a traffic stop. 'In Memory of George Floyd.'