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Be forewarned: Despite its title, this book contains absolutely no helpful advice for obtaining refunds. Instead, a cast of fictional characters and Ritcher's alter egos regale you with an amusingly disjointed series of adventures from his storied life. Almost none of it is true (but some of it is). You'll read about how he served in the Belgian National Guard, launched the Burger Chef restaurant chain, hosted the hit TV show "Animal Autopsy" and spent several years married to Kirsten Dunst during her two terms as governor of Kentucky. The book is full of secret nuggets, including another book called "Presidential Fun Facts & Trivia," information on bird spotting, proper table settings and a full 90 pages of About the Author, which includes a little detour called About the Author's Dogs. "How to Get Your Fucking Money Back" is an absurd, heavily footnoted, 154-page ride that gleefully disregards reality, the rules of storytelling and, occasionally, some common respect for the English language.