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A collection of over 450 if the greatest funny quotes of all time. I sincerely hope you enjoy it! If you don't, give it to someone you don't like. How to use this book Read it and try not to cry from laughter. If you do, get a tissue! If you find it funny share it with friends and loved ones so they can cry too! The quotes are meant for enjoyment, I sincerely hope they don't offend. Some are a bit harsh. And by a bit, I mean a lot. If they offend you, please remember: "Life is short, smile while you still have teeth." Popular Quotes 1. "Life is short, smile while you still have teeth." - Anonymous"
2. "Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it." - Anonymous
3. "A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it." - Bob Hope
4. "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything." - Anonymous
5. "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early." - Charles Lamb
6. "Procrastinate now, don't put it off." - Ellen DeGeneres
7. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
8. "Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone." - Anthony Burgess Laugh, Feel Joy and Be Happy! Funny Quotes - Stupidity Quotes - Sarcastic Quotes