Flowers When You're Dead

In 1900, King Hubert of Italy was assassinated. The country

was new yet weak. The people were poor. The economic and

political future of Italy was uncertain. Two patriarchs with large

families emigrated from Italy to the United States in pursuit of the

American dream. Both men hoped for better lives for their children.

They could almost smell World War I on its way.

One father, Alonzo Manonero, prospered. He had three sons

and seven daughters born in the United States. The other father,

Vincenzo Delfucho, relied on his children to support him in America.

He refused to work his trade which left his family poor. In spite of

their poverty, he fathered five more children born in his new home.

In schools, the workplace, and even in the military, these Manoneros and Delfuchos faced prejudicial

hatred. Slanders were hurled viciously at unwanted Italians who came to these shores at the turn of

the century. Americans did not accept these immigrants, and often met them with violence, oppression,

and even death.

The families became one large clan when Ambra Manonero married Danelo Delfucho in Newark,

New Jersey in 1942. They had two children. Their daughter Alicia was born in the summer of 1943

and a son came in the spring of 1951. Alonzo Manonero owned two fourplex brownstones in Newark.

With a unit for himself and his wife, the proud patriarch rented apartments to five of his ten children.

Ambra, Danelo, and their children occupied one of these.

In the fall of 1952, tragedy struck, a premonition of Ambra's youngest sister. Daniel L. Delfucho,

the young couple's seventeen-month-old son, contracted polio overnight. The toddler suffered and

nearly died. His survival was thought to be a miracle, despite the loss of Daniel's ability to walk.

Danelo believed his son's disability was a curse on his long-held dream of raising a son to be a

professional athlete.

Flowers When You're Dead is a record of Daniel's life from birth through high school graduation.

His untenable relationship with his father is offset by the loving ones shared with his over-protective

mother and troubled sister. Physical damage, a consequence of polio, kept Daniel close to home. It

limited his contact with other children. As he grew up, Daniel was perpetually in the company of adults.

His stories reveal the impact of polio on his life.

Daniel's sedentary and sometimes solitary existence changed the trajectory of his life. The norms

of childhood were not his to know. At an early age he was forced into options a healthy child might

have ignored. This fictionalized memoir takes a long, detailed look at those options. It exposes the

impossible nature of Daniel's relationship with his father and his search for love from a parent who

did not have love to give.

Italian immigrant families brought their food with them to America. Collected over the years,

Daniel saved twenty old-world Italian and Italian-American recipes that can still be prepared today.

In between meals, there are moments of high comedy, such as Daniel's attempt to become a Boy Scout.

Another is a coffee klatch between the seven Manonero sisters as they attempted to plan a holiday.

Yet another was Daniel's childhood caper to fill his piggy bank!

Immigration issues are still problematic in America today. The persistent theme of Flowers When

You're Dead is the survival of Daniel's mother and how she protected her son. Not only from an abusive

father, but from the physical and emotional challenges in Daniel's specialized world. Follow these two

emigrated families and the author as they adapted. His relatives to American cultural attitudes and

Daniel to an unexpected and indelible love.