Fast-Chick Flick

People often ask me, "CK? Why aren't there more sub-literary hardcore pornographic books written in dramatic form and sporting frequent bouts of clammy pseudo-philosophical brain-drainage? Why not, I beg to know? Why?"

Well, I'm your huckleberry--here's a modernized spin on the "Whore Dialogue" form of erotica beloved of 16th and 17th century Italian and French writers-slash-reprobates. Ragionamenti, anyone? L'Ecole des Filles? (Please, I can't hear myself think over the roar of crickets chirping.)

In what passes for a plot, Eden Gann, acid-tongued, pugilistic adult video courtesan, dumped unceremoniously by her studio and starving for vengeance, pays a series of visits to her fellow contract performers. As she seduces/finesses/manipulates each one out of the business, airy mock-philosophical discursions on love and commerce frequently ensue.

Edie also relates the occasional romantic scene in the voice of one of the participants-actually, in passages styled after Nicholson Baker, Anais Nin, John Cleland, Emmanuelle Arsan, etc. All while dealing with a magazine reporter out to pen a damaging story on her to advance his own interests; and blissfully unaware of the iceberg-looming presence of unsavory studio moneyman "Papi Toro" Gonzalez.

Boy and girls, I have cracked the code of this ill-lit Lit. Consider yourselves damp with enthusiasm.