Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven

Carlisle grew up in East St. Louis, Illinois during a time when America was changing. He comes from a nurturing and loving family environment where education, God and community were very much a part. Despite the troubles of the times, his family, particularly his father, taught him and modeled for him how to do/be right, how to be a man. "Right" was also modeled very well to him at home, at school and at church. Carlisle started off "right" but, because of a fascination with learning and observing, he noticed early on a world of mixed messages. Carlisle saw a world he began to question. He saw a tumultuous world He began to be disillusioned and he would soon rebel against in his own, self-destructive way. Carlisle's ambitions were to satisfy God, his family and pursue his dreams. His role models were Martin Luther King and his father. This confusion/disillusion began as a young Black male growing up and watching the civil rights movement unfold. He watched in amazement and wondered, why? The disappointments of watching his parents have problems added to the disillusion. He was crushed when they would argue and break up. Through watching the war footage on TV every night, along with negative peer pressure and the rebellious seventies, Carlisle began to make radical changes. He began to internalize and struggle to stay focused. He had created these huge monuments and formed his own construct. Racism, sexism, family issues, war and materialism added to his labyrinth of insanity. These mixed messages that this young Black boy/teen/man's mind absorbed like a sponge caused Carlisle to struggle and lead a secret, almost separate life of deception and illusion. Carlisle was on a path of selfishness, ego and false pride. He was on a certain path of total self-destruction. He learns early-on to navigate this matrix and because of confusion he gets really caught up in a society and world of drugs, sex and negativity. When and where these change takes p