Doublespeak Defined

In an increasingly Orwellian world, everyone should be armed with this hilarious, slyly subversive deconstruction of the slippery locutions of spinmeisters from all walks of public life. Doublespeak guru William Lutz (Doublespeak, The New Doublespeak) is uniquely qualified to bring you this supremely funny expos' of the juiciest ways THEY are trying to bamboozle you!

A sampling of Doublespeak Defined:

Bald n./: hair disadvantaged

Men in Japan aren't bald; they're "hair disadvantaged," according to The Japan Economic Journal.

Diet n./:1.nutrional avoidance therapy 2. caloric reduction program

Frozen adj./:1 deep chilled 2. fresh 3. hard chilled 4. previously frozen

The USDA considers processed chickens "fresh," not frozen, if they have been chilled to 28 degrees Fahrenheit. Chickens so processed have not been frozen but "deep chilled."

Light Switch n./: ideogram illumination intensity adjustment potentiometer

Waste paper basket n./: user-friendly, space-effective, flexible desk side sortation unit

Government officials in Toronto, Canada, paid $123.80 (Canadian) each for these items.