Dear Lord, Please Tell Me I'm Adopted

Many people when asked to give the definition of the word family will tell you that it is a group of people related by blood through a common ancestor who share the same goals and characteristics. They will also say this group enjoys spending time together and look forward to visiting each other. Obviously none of these people are related to me. My family shares common ancestors but that is about it. Trust me; we do not share the same goals. If we did, my extremely prejudice paternal elderly relatives would have everyone but themselves sent on a boat to somewhere else. Apparently they still held grudges from both world wars and the civil war (although none of them were alive then). As a matter of fact I am pretty sure they did not even know the south had lost. Come inside and meet the family.