Christmas Inc.

Warning: This is not a children's book. Exposure to children under 12-years old may cause child to stop believing in Santa Claus or take a cynical view of Christmas. What would happen if Santa decided to go public and sell shares of Christmas on the NASDAQ? The Wall Street Journal called it "the biggest IPO (Initial Public Offering) since Facebook." But, with the influx of capital comes a host of problems. Now Christmas Inc. comes under public scrutiny. Santa must report to the stockholders and stockholders want to see a profit. When the economy collapses and Christmas Inc. is in danger of bankruptcy, the Government deems Christmas Inc. "too big to fail." Santa must accept a government bailout. With the bailout comes increased regulation. So how does Santa solve his problems? He does what every other major CEO does: cut costs. First, he hires illegal burros from Mexico to pull his sleigh. Then he outsources toy making to China and his IT services to India. This throws thousands of elves out of work. Most leave the North Pole to find work elsewhere. Christmas Inc. follows the lives of three elves caught in the turmoil. Henry moves his family to New York to pursue the American Dream. As illegal immigrants, they try to make a life for themselves in mainstream America. Duncan gathers a group of friends around him, forms a co-op, rents a closed down workshop at the North Pole and starts a toy company to compete with Christmas Inc. Always the rebel, Alstair starts the Occupy North Pole movement. Sit-ins, political rallies, protests and speeches quickly spread around the world. Before you know it there are Occupy Wall Street, Occupy Paris and Occupy San Francisco movements. Add in a James Bond-style super villain, Hu U, a general in the Peoples' Liberation Army of China. Santa outsources his toy making to Joy International, a company under General Hu's control. Unbeknownst to Santa, Hu's goal is nothing less than total world domination (of Christmas). Hu's factories start shipping toys covered with lead based paint, containing melamine, small parts that can choke a child and faulty welds. Can Santa save Christmas and return us to our cherished values? Christmas Inc. is a rollicking, politically incorrect satire on the state of our society.