Charmed in Chengdu

His last overseas teaching gig is spent in Chengdu, China, the Suzhou province of spicy food and spicier women. As a teacher at the Zhong Hu Ze Zhong Vocational School, O'Neal finds himself challenged and frustrated with the living conditions in his noisy, unsanitary dorm room, the apathy of his 700 students, and his attempts to gain the attention of the unapproachable beauty, Lovie Du Mi At least there was beer. But O'Neal keeps from throwing in his ragged towel. Dorm living is adapted to with laowei (foreigner) outbursts, misty daybreak coffee mornings, arachnid domestication, and 'Mons' beer afternoons. His most unruly class of 66 teen-aged girls becomes the joy of each week with sweet Ivy, sexually aggressive Shirley, and giggling Sunny vying for his attention. And Lovie Du Mi eventually comes around: "Michael, are you a good kisser?" Excursions into the Tibetan lowlands help his faltering attitude and resilient humor, as well as exciting his wanderlust. Landscapes of the most dramatic example of the Earth's dynamism reveal themselves in stark contrast to the overpopulation of China. Areas of Jiu Saigou are as active and earth belching attractive as Yellowstone. O'Neal's inclusion of historic and geologic fact make for interesting reading, as in the retelling of the horrific 2008, 8.1 quake that hit the area, the evidence of that shake piled, toppled and stabbed into the rebuilt villages. Back on campus, eating cafeteria food has his gut demanding divorce The diet of grease, fat, MSG, gristle and rice takes some getting used to. Like his previous books, "Being in Beijing" & "Stuck in the Sharjah Sandbox," O'Neal befriends his readers, speaks directly to them as fellow travelers, brothers and sister in this game of life, and as a confidant drinking buddy. His heart expands and partially breaks in helping an emotionally challenged young boy cross a death defying street of speeding traffic. He breaks the law by petting a red panda. He clinks glasses with his new friend, Zhang #1, and clinks more cups of bai jou with Zhang #2, whom he nicknames, Gomer. Candy is his campus his Girl Friday, cuter than cute, a short, dark-haired Asian-antic version of Lucille Ball. She is a continuous cause for laughter without trying to be. To spice things up further there is Mrs. Toad's sanluche Wild Ride through night traffic, late night fireworks for no apparent reason, a mysterious growth of pedes appendages that cause pain, and as always, the interactions with strangers that can make or break the day. "Charmed in Chengdu" is a thoughtful, humorous, and informative perspective of life in a city of almost eight million people, O'Neal interacting with as many as he can; on the street, in the gym, aboard the crowded buses, in the mom & pop grocers that begin to keep more beer on hand, and most importantly and most fun, within his classrooms. O'Neal's students find out very quickly that he a is far cry from the more stoic, less animated Chinese teachers they are accustomed to