Breaking Echoes

I'm a 55 year old adult, I don't act like a victim. I suffered abuse, neglect from alcoholic parents, so me and my sister were put in foster care at the young ages of 6 and 9. Later, we flew to Canada where we were adopted by my fathers parents. Unknowingly, we still would suffer from more abuse as he also was an alcoholic. Those turbulent, chaotic years were life changing, in many aspects they molded me into the person I am today.

 

I know what it's like to be lost, hurt, not knowing where or how you fit in. learning to adapt to change and never feeling secure or loved. I've had opportunity to reconnect with family, just to be disappointed again. My parents and grandparents are deceased now. A few years ago my half brother and I spoke, but months later I got the news he died, unfortunately I didn't have the chance to meet him or his sons who were his life.

 

I've been in love, again, dealt with the ups and downs of an alcoholic husband, then, 23 years later with 2 boys I divorced, it took 4 years to complete. It was a roller coaster ride that was long, painful and draining. From all of this, I have always looked at the bright side, and learned to never dwell on what we can't change, just to be thankful for what we have now.

 

I've overcome mountains, so I'm ready for whatever challenges come my way. Nothing can be that bad, i'm a registered nurse who has watched people die, listened to their wishes, concerns, held their hands. I believe in compassion,kindness, and always looking for the good in every person or situation.

 

None of us are exempt from life lessons, but our past does not dictate who or where we will go in life. I write to express my thoughts, to connect with others who can relate and never feel alone. In hopes that you also can see the effervescent inner light that's you. So, I am here for you as much as you are here for me.

 

It would take me years to put myself under the microscope to scrutinize my mistakes, find forgiveness, find my voice, and eventually find myself. I essentially poured all my love into everyone else forgetting me, I had to embrace my past experiences, absorbing the bad along with the good to recognize that those experiences made me who I am today. By looking back to 'Breaking Echoes' I could interrupt the sequence of failure that alcoholism played in my life. Only by bridging my past into my present and ongoing future could I allow myself to understand the significance of my early beginnings. So, with my sisters blessings, I came forward to write my story to let others know they are not alone. It's important to stay strong, to keep love in your heart, to focus and work hard to achieve your goals and happiness. Despite abuse, neglect, or loss, anyone can rise again.