Book the Fifth – The Austere Academy

More doom and gloom for the Baudelaire orphans, and school as well.

Dear Customer,

If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. You might expect that Violet, Klaus and Sunny would do very well at school. Don’t. For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives.

Within the chapters of this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals, S.O.R.E and the metric system.

It is my solemn duty to stay up all night researching and recording the history of these three hapless youngsters, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night’s sleep. In that case, you should probably choose some other tape.

With all due respect, Lemony Snicket