Best Served Frozen

Revenge may be a dish best served cold, but hardened mother of seven Fionnuala Flood plans on serving hers up frozen. Or so she thinks.The bells are ringing out in Derry, Northern Ireland, as the Catholic Floods and the Protestant Riddells prepare for the pairing in matrimony of their families and a bridging of the gap between the two sniping communities. But some are not best pleased, and it might be more a case of For Whom The Bell Tolls.What is the price to be paid for a mother's love? For daughter Dymphna and son Lorcan, dangerously high. Fionnuala is already furious Dymphna has put her arch nemesis, Ursula Barnett, on the wedding list. Then beloved son Lorcan, fresh out of prison, announces he's emigrating to the USA. He'll get there. Unless Fionnuala has her way.In Wisconsin, Ursula and husband Jed will find a trip to Derry difficult, as Jed's gambling has them teetering on the edge of bankruptcy. The last chance to save their floundering beef jerky business will be to appear on Attack of the Killer Investors But Fionnuala has ripped up their invitation, in any event. When they hear shocking news of Dymphna's death, getting the investment from the TV show is essential.Throw in a rabble of geriatric religious fanatics, poisonous ham hocks, an X-rated wedding cake, the gown from Hell, mix with rivers of drink, intolerance, jealousy and shame, and you have Best Served Frozen, a rip-roaring tale jam-packed with dark humor.Cover by Marco Maldera