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A funny, nostalgic tribute to the Oregon Trail computer game—invented nearly fifty years ago, and beloved by generations of students. Pack your wagons, find your ride-or-(literally) die friends, and roll up to Matt’s General Store with a sack of cash—it’s time to hit the Oregon Trail, twenty-first-century style! …And Then You Die of Dysentery is a journey through the sometimes frustrating, always entertaining, and universally beloved Oregon Trail computer game. Featuring a four-color design in the game’s iconic 8-bit format, alongside pop culture references galore, the book offers 50 humorous, snarky lessons gleaned from the game’s most iconic moments, including gems such as: —Suffering from exhaustion is a real thing. (It’s not just PR code for why a celebrity went to rehab.) —If you hunt too frequently in one area, game will become scarce. (The first signs of gentrification!) —Invite your sweetie to cuddle with you while looking up at the stars. (The night sky was the original Netflix & Chill. Step 1: Loosen up Orion’s belt...) With its comic commentary and absurdist nostalgia, ...And Then You Die of Dysentery is the ultimate trip down memory lane, and all the way to the Willamette Valley.