A Wonderful Day for a Quest

The wizard Jackdaw has deciphered the uppercase Prophecy: a mysterious riddle that foretells the fate of the kingdom. After reading it, he finds out that the kingdom's only hope lies in... someone. With part of the prophecy missing, it's not clear whether the kingdom's only hope lies in a gallant knight, or in a sub-assistant goat herder with a similar name.

To find out, both of them must embark on a quest to decipher the three parts of the Riddle of Ages. Only then will they be able to thwart ELM, a diminutive dark Lord with big plans to shake up the kingdom's harvest of magic beans. But, prophecy or not, neither the knight or the goat herder has time on their side, and so must rely on a washed-up wizard, an un-distressed damsel, and a rejected evil sidekick to help save the day. If neither of them can do it, magic bean production will cease forever, plunging the kingdom into a new age of darkness, without magic or the kingdom's famous magic-bean burritos.

This is a novelization of the musical "A Wonderful Day for a Quest," now with 99% more humorous footnotes!