How to Be a Widow

After she became a widow, Marilyn C. O'Leary was surprised at her reaction to changing her status on Facebook. She was not yet comfortable referring to herself as widowed. That was one of the dilemmas she faced as a widow that seemed to be minor but was not. Another one was what should her new pair of shoes look like? Should she buy those orange patent leather wedges?The difficult questions beneath these superficial ones included who was she now that she wasn't a wife and a caregiver? What was her purpose in life now that her husband of fifty years had died twenty years after receiving a life-giving liver transplant? Did she want another relationship? Did she want to live alone? Why didn't other widows tell her how devastating the pain of loss would be? How could she express her feelings of loneliness and confusion, and did she even want to?Her pain and loss were followed by new insights, new experiences and new interests, including playing bluegrass music and finding new friends, and fulfillment at being able to fashion the life she now wanted for herself. While every woman's journey is different, certain experiences are common. Read these essays to discover what Marilyn discovered about her new life-that there was life after her husband's death, and after the pain came comfort and fulfillment.